Neighbour Tales

There's a woman who lives in my building who asserts a high level of ownership over the building in general. I think she must be very involved with the body corporate and all that stuff. We got in her way a bit the day I moved in and she didn't hesitate to come knocking on my door within a few hours of me arriving to express her displeasure. I guess she figured a zero tolerance approach would ensure I didn't get lax. So we sorted it out quickly and since then I've been terribly friendly to her whenever I pass her in the car park or the lift. She always smiles and says hello.

Today she is having a garage sale in the car park and I went to have a bit of a poke around. I was chatting and making small talk and she was asking me questions that I thought were a bit odd but I didn't think much of it. The she says "So which part do you live in?". I hesitated because I didn't really understand the question. She had knocked on the door of my apartment so she knew which part of the building I lived in. After a few seconds of thinking I told her I lived in the building and commented that I thought she would recognise me. I recounted the story about when I moved in, only to be met with a blank expression. I added more detail about the story, took off my sunglasses to aid recognition - nothing. I know I have the right person because she kinda stands out - she wears a ginger wig, bright red lipstick that looks like it's been applied by a 5 year old, and very distinctive clothes.

In spite of adding this extra layer of awkwardness to our already slight-strained relationship, I was pleased I went to her garage sale because I bought a brand new coffee grinder for $10. She advised me only to use it with coffee beans and not with instant coffee (!).